LUISA RODRIGUEZ: User Guide and Manual
by evemiliana
Summary: Congratulations! You have ordered a LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit. This Manual will show you how to take care of your unit. rated T for stuff.


**LUISA RODRIGUEZ: User Guide and Manuel**

**Congratulations: you have purchased a LUISA RODRIGUEZ Unit. This Manual will teach you how to use this Unit.**

Technical specifications

Country name: Nicaragua

Human name: Luisa Rodriguez . Will also answer to Luisa, Nicaragua, Nica, Sia, and Chiquita (NOTE: she will most definitely punch you if you call her this)

Age: 19

Place of Manufacture: Managua, Nicaragua

Height: 5'1

Weight: 115 lbs.

**Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ Unit come with the following:**

One (1) Dark blue military uniform

One (1) traditional dance costume

Three (3) sets of normal clothes

One (1) Aluminum baseball bat

One (1) PELUCHA German Shepard Unit

**Programming**

Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ Unit has the following traits:

Bodyguard: Don't let this unit's size fool you. She is very good at keeping unwanted people away with her baseball bat.

Cook: Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ Unit is very good at cooking and doesn't need fancy ingredients for a great meal!

Singer: Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ Unit has an excellent voice and isn't afraid to show it. Let her loose into the world and she'll be on the Top 100 charts in no time.

Poet: She isn't called the Land of Poets for nothing. Her excellent poetry will be published for the world to see and you'll be raking in money in less than a month.

**Removal of your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit from packaging.**

Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ Unit may be friendly towards strangers, but she is also programmed with the bipolar chip. She is unpredictable if you wake her up. Below is a list of failsafe ways to take her out of the box.

Play either the Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, or American national anthems. While she will respond happily to the first selection and sing along, she will respond annoyed at the second and yell at you to turn it down. When she realizes you aren't a FRANCISCO SALAS unit she will apologize profusely and you can reprogram her. If you use the third selection, the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit will use her bat to break open the box and attempt to hit you with her bat. When she realizes you aren't and ALFRED F. JONES unit, she will apologize profusely like in the second selection and will allow you to reprogram her.

Start to cook gallo pinto near the box that the unit is in. She will open the box herself and start to instruct you on how to cook it correctly. While she's eating the gallo pinto she will allow you to reprogram her.

Say in your best Colombian accent "OI! CHIQUITA~" in front of the box. You will hear loud cursing in Spanish and the box will burst open. When she realizes you aren't a MARIA CALLAS unit, she will allow you to reprogram her.

Turn on the PELUCHA unit. This unit will whine in front of the box for her to feed her. Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit will open the box and go off to feed the PELUCHA unit. When she is done feeding the PELUCHA unit, she will allow you to reprogram her.

**Reprogramming**

After waking up your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit, you can choose any of the following modes to program her to:

_Bipolar (default)_

_Snarky (default)_

_Annoyed_

_Pissed off_

_Family loving_

_War crazy/ Civil war (locked)_

_Sandanista (locked)_

The LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit comes with her default modes of _bipolar_ and _snarky_. In these modes she will be normally okay, just sort of emotional. She will also make snide comments about certain people under her breath. She is fun to be around in these modes, but has the tendency to want to at least maim the ALFRED F. JONES unit.

The _annoyed _mode is really easy to attain. Just put her in the same room as a PABLO ISASI or any other annoying unit and watch as her eye starts to twitch and she eventually hits them on the head with her bat.

The _pissed off _mode is also easy to attain, but is harder than the _annoyed _mode. Put her in the same room as a MARIA CALLAS unit or an ALFRED F. JONES unit. She will start yelling and cursing at them. It is best to not awaken this mode because she will eventually start throwing things at the units. She will go back to her_ default _modes after a few hours.

The _family loving_ mode can be best attained by putting her in the same room as an ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO unit or any unit she is related to that she gets along with (a MIGUEL DE VALLE or ALEJANDRO MORENO unit works best). She will become happy and will be excited to spend time with her family.

The _war crazy/civil war_ mode is one of the locked modes, and for a good reason. This mode becomes unlocked when she is fighting another unit in a bloody battle or she goes through a civil war. She will become even more unpredictable than she normally is and will start fighting and injuring other units. The only way to snap her out of it is for someone to hit her in the back of the head with her own aluminum bat. When she wakes up she will have no memory of what happened and will go back to her default modes.

The _Sandanista_ mode is extremely difficult to unlock and very difficult to snap her out of. In this mode, she will sympathize with communism and get along with the IVAN BRAGINSKI unit. She will be even more aggressive to the ALFRED F. JONES unit and will be very ruthless and cunning. In order to snap her out of this mode, you must have the FRANCISCO SALAS unit remind her of her boss Violeta Chamorro or have him say that he will embargo her as well. The LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit will be so shocked that her own family is turning on her that she will snap right back into default. Another idea is to sacrifice an ALFRED F. JONES unit and have them both "discuss" things. The LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit be back to default, but you may need to get another ALFRED F. JONES unit.

**Relationships with other units**

FRANCISCO SALAS: This unit is the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit's twin brother. He is her voice of reason a lot of times, but they interact just like any other siblings. Although they may fight, they have a special relationship because they're twins.

ALFRED F. JONES: The LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit absolutely loathes this unit because he is always "screwing up her life" as she's called it.

LUDWIG AND GILBERT BEILDSCHMIDT: your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit thinks of them like brothers. She will go drinking with the GILBERT BEILDSCHMIDT unit often and has even claimed to have beaten him in a drinking contest. Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit got the PELUCHA unit from the LUDWIG BEIDSCHMIDT unit as a gift.

MARIA CALLAS: The LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit does not like this unit because she has stolen her islands and they just don't get along. Due to the third peace treaty between Colombia and Nicaragua, however, they are being forced to get along. It currently is not working.

MIGUEL DE VALLE: Due to the alliance between Cuba, Nicaragua, and Venezuela, the MIGUEL DE VALLE unit is the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit's best friend. They both share a hatred of America and a love of ice cream. They both also get along well with the MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit.

ALEJANDRO MORENO: This unit is the MARIA CALLAS' twin brother, but the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit sees him as a best friend. He is also friends with the MIGUEL DE VALLE unit and they are known as the Latin American Bad Touch Trio.

PABLO ISASI: This unit is your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit's younger brother (by a year). He is similar to the NATALYA ARLOVSKAYA unit in the fact that he stalks the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit. However, your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit is not afraid of him and will hit him with her bat if need be.

ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO: Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit sees him as her father and will be happy to see him.

**Cleaning**

Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit is perfectly capable of cleaning herself and will maim you if you try to take a bath with her.

**Feeding**

Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit will make her own food and will even make you meals. You just need to keep the fridge and cupboard loaded with food.

**Rest**

Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit has a fine sleeping pattern and will also take siesta during the day. If you wake her up she will most certainly hit you with her bat.

**FAQ**

Q:  My unit sometimes sits in an emo corner and starts to cry about her life while writing something down. What's wrong with her?

A: She is just going through a depressed mood and is using it as inspiration for her poetry. Just let her be. Or if it bothers you just have a FRANCISCO SALAS unit go talk to her.

Q: My unit disappeared! And the PELUCHA unit is gone too!

A: Pelucha simply ran after a cat or something. Your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit is just chasing after her. Don't worry. They'll be back soon.

Q: My unit is talking to thin air while holding back my MIGUEL DE VALLE unit. Is she crazy?

A: No. She is talking to a MATTHEW WILLIAMS unit and trying to explain to the MIGUEL DE VALLE unit that he is not an ALFRED F. JONES unit.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Instead of a LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit, you instead got a little girl wearing a bandanna and a maid's unit with a broom who only speaks Spanish.

Solution: oops! We sent you the Chibi!LUISA RODRIGUEZ by mistake. This girl doesn't have the bipolar issues of her counterpart, is an excellent cleaner, and loves to cuddle. If you don't want her, send her back and we will send you a LUISE RODRIGUEZ unit.

Problem: Your unit is not getting along with either the LUDWIG BEILDSCHMIDT or GILBERT BEILDSCHMIDT units. She is threatening war and is wearing a ridiculous captain's hat.

Answer: Congrats! You unlocked the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit's WWII mode! She was on the allies and declared war, but never actually sent troops. In order to get her back to normal, just remind her than WWII ended a long time ago.

**End notes**

With enough love, care, and tolerance to broken things, your LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit will make a great companion. We hope that you enjoy your time with her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: yes, I decided to make a manual for Nicaragua. I will also be doing some for my other OC's. I thank Lollidictator for the idea. And yes, the next chapter of "Autumn! What the hell did you do!" will be up soon. **_

_**Oh, and just so you got confused:**_

_**Maria Callas: Colombia**_

_**Miguel De Valle: Cuba**_

_**Alejandro Moreno: Venezuela**_

_**Pablo Isasi: Honduras**_

_**Please don't kill me Hondurans...  
><strong>_


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